


Take Care (Habit)

by silverdoll14



Series: Love Letters [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drama, Friendship, M/M, Metaphors, Open to Interpretation, Pining, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27796642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: "I realized then, like a habitual sayingThat I desperately looked for you as I called for you"
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: Love Letters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036854
Kudos: 2





	Take Care (Habit)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm speechless. Not beta-ed yet since I'm either impatient or I might not actually post this up. (Weh?)  
> Though I think I like the rawness of this so there's that. But then it's been like 3 years since I've written something so please go easy on me? O_O
> 
> Recommending you to listen to Seventeen's [Habit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6SIqfVwOvw) while reading, since this song, was the one that pushed me to write this. ~~(Aside from real-life events, perhaps.)~~
> 
> Just a warning, you might get overwhelmed with metaphors? Enjoy, hopefully.
> 
> P.S.  
> I just realised something... I wonder if you guys will catch something with the way I constructed the fic. I thought at first it was a metaphor on metaphor, but then it was actually something else. I think programmers might catch it, or if you know basic HTML, you might notice the "Easter egg" of this fic?

Everyone cheered when the chairman of the board of directors that ran the university announced that they officially graduated. Excitement and anxiousness probably mixed within everyone’s minds. Because despite finally getting free of assignments, exams and the whatnots of university life, entering the real world was a whole new ordeal. 

There were hugs of congratulations, of goodbyes, and wishing good luck to each other because there was no telling what will happen beyond the university gates, of dorm life, and going out in the real world.

And there were also shared glances between people, of understanding, of acknowledgement, and maybe longing and lingering feelings.

It happened out of the blue, Soonyoung was just looking out for some of his friends from a different department than his to say goodbye when his gaze crossed path with another. There was a recognition that dawned to the other’s gaze with the way eyes widened before a small smile and a little wave was directed to him.

Soonyoung waved back and just like a magnet, the two gravitate towards each other, crossing the great hall to meet somewhere in the middle. As they stood in front of each other, one had a shorter stature than the other but both had smiles mirroring each other. 

Soonyoung had words at the tip of his tongue, a greeting ready to start a conversation for old times sake. Yet it was the other who broke the silence that landed on them. His voice was soft-spoken yet firm with how Soonyoung could still hear it despite the chatter from different groups of people that surrounded them. Just like how the guy had been in Soonyoung’s life.

“Hey, it’s been a while.” the other greeted, one hand was securing the diploma and the toga hanging on his forearm while the other hand was scratching the back of his neck, a tell-tale of bashfulness.

“Hi, Jihoon,” Soonyoung said and just like some kind of magic words, it brought Soonyoung back memories he shared with the other, like the first time they met.

It was like Soonyoung was watching on his mind a VHS tape that was already rewinded from the start and as scenes got played in fast-forward, there was no remote available in his grasp to pause. It was so old that navigation and scrolling wasn’t even an option. All he could do was watch without skipping parts, recollecting moments he went through with the other.

Yet at the same time, Soonyoung remembered every important detail with so much fondness.

The first time Jihoon walked into Soonyoung’s life had been in a dance studio where Soonyoung poured his soul to his craft. With every step and every slide across the floor, Soonyoung was in his element, in his own little world and no one was able to pull him out until the music stopped.

It wasn’t the professor, who silenced the speaker that piqued his attention at that time. It was rather the smaller guy wearing a royal blue hoodie paired with black ripped jeans and converse shoes, who stood beside the professor.

As introductions were made with the professor telling him how the music major student would work hand in hand with Soonyoung for an upcoming showcase, Soonyoung’s first words had been, “Hi, Jihoon,” as greeting to get acquainted with each other. Soonyoung had no idea he was saying hi to far something more.

It wasn’t noticeable at first. There was just a natural click between the two of them, like a key inserted into a lock of a door and with just a single turn, it unlocked a lot of possibilities. Or maybe they were locked in together. 

It may have to do with how they complement each other’s needs. Soonyoung needed music to move. Something that would sweep him up to take a step and leap, to sway and prance along as Soonyoung create stories with formations and choreographies. Jihoon provided that with his melodies and rhythm. In turn, Jihoon needed a body to interpret. Someone that would absorb the pieces and tunes he created, the one that would embody the emotions Jihoon encased with his songs. Soonyoung did it with his movements and flow.

It could have been the fact that they shared likeliness when it came to habits, especially when they drown in their own craft, projects and showcases flooding them that sometimes thoughts of food and sleep escaped them. Due to that, they became each other’s buoy, keeping each other afloat with what’s outside the dance hall and the studio where each lurked. Soonyoung would invade Jihoon’s studio just to make sure the other will get a goodnight sleep in his own bed and will be recharged for the next day to create more wonderful songs. Likewise, Jihoon would drop by the dance studio, carrying with him meals and snacks that will give Soonyoung energy that he burned as he danced powerful moves.

And then there was also the image others saw in them together, an image of an old married couple of some sort. They bicker like there was no tomorrow but never heated ones, just playful and lightweight, just to keep things interesting. They moved in sync at times, thinking and speaking like they shared one brain cell. And when they work together, they were like a well-oiled machine that ran without a hitch.

Soonyoung started seeing that image as well. An image his heart captured even before he knew it until it dawned on him one time when he was listening to Jihoon singing in one of the concerts hosted by the school. Under the spotlight and in the middle of the stage, Jihoon stood as he poured his heart out with his self-composed song, his eyes closed as he belted out words in tune, emotions resonating across the audience and enchanting them to feel, and Soonyoung was no exception.

Soonyoung had felt it then, a spark that ignited, and like fireworks, it exploded with a bang and burst of colours. Rather blasting the dark silent sky, it woke up Soonyoung’s sleeping heart. All Soonyoung could see was the light of hope, a chance of something more than just friendly gestures and a sliver of deeper connection. Maybe Soonyoung had been blinded by that light that he forgot a door was always a two-way passage that could open or close both ways.

The key turned again and feelings got out of hand, or maybe they were locked in. The real question was, who had turned the key?

Soonyoung couldn’t answer. Maybe it was him who opened the door, like opening Pandora’s box that brought doubts and longing, of loneliness and heartache. Despite the hope that came with it, those feelings were a burden, and tears were like rain that washed everything to numbness.

Maybe it had been Jihoon who closed the door, like a guard who stopped anyone that may cause unwanted turmoil inside the premises, nothing was personal but just a job to uphold. There was no ill-intention in being unaware, just having a different outlook than the other had.

Soonyoung then realised. They didn’t really see the same side of the door, but each facing one different side. They were parallel, moving forward like those two wheels that spin to the same direction to roll the film until there was nothing to roll anymore and the movie ended.

And here they were at the end with different paths ahead to walk through, but still the same, still moving forward.

“Goodluck,” Soonyoung said, nodding his head towards the diploma Jihoon was carrying  _ (which was fake as of now, since they needed to request and pay for it in the registration which was a bummer. Capitalism sucks.) _

Jihoon chuckled before saying, “Yeah. Thanks. You too.” 

Soonyoung nodded, smiling as he looked away for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts to say something, but was interrupted when someone called Jihoon.

Both Jihoon and Soonyoung looked towards the direction where the call came from, seeing some of Jihoon’s friends that Soonyoung could remember from before. 

When they looked back at each other, Soonyoung spoke the first thing he could come up with. “So keep in touch.”

Jihoon flinched at first but smiled nonetheless. With a nod, he agreed before bidding Soonyoung goodbye. 

Soonyoung didn’t take it as a promise, but a possibility and with everything he went through, he learned a thing or two. With possibilities, came with uncertainties. There was no sure thing with that exchange but Soonyoung was certain about one thing.

Soonyoung took a deep breath before calling, “Jihoon-ah!”

Jihoon paused, looking back at him with a tilt of his head in question.

Soonyoung smiled, his cheeks bunching up, looking like a hamster, his eyes slanting like the shape of the hands of the clock when it was 10:10, his trademark smile even though he kept on pushing that he was a tiger, his genuine smile.

Just like that smile, his words were, “Take care.” he said.  _ I loved you, _ he added in mind.

Jihoon smiled and waved before rejoining his friends in leaving the auditorium.

Soonyoung watched as Jihoon’s figure disappeared through the sea of crowd, his smile becoming small and bittersweet, but sweet nonetheless. He shook his head and straightened his stance as he walked in the opposite direction.

There was a time back then when Soonyoung used to wish Jihoon have a rougher time. His selfish heart wanted Jihoon to think of him because it was hard. Jihoon could have called him and then, maybe they would be okay together.

It took time before Soonyoung had accepted that it had been just a habit, of wanting Jihoon to look at him and see him.

They say old habits die down, but who knows. They do die, right? But who’s asking. 

_ I feel my lips dry _

_ The lips that used to call you so much _

_ I realized then, like a habitual saying _

_ That I desperately looked for you as I called for you _

_ I want to embrace you as I did then _

_ And tell you that I want to smile _

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah... Anyone got what the "easter egg" was? Let me know what you think.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Say hi to me in Twitter with @ahyuleidiiiii if you like, I don't bite. Who knows, since I might start writing again and I'm cooking something up, I might need someone to talk with about that.
> 
> Have a nice day!


End file.
